Originally created: Tuesday August 6, 2013
We spent most of the night in the clouds. Unsure if this was a pregnancy symptom or not, I was shuttling back and forth from the couch to the bathroom most of the night. Did I really drink THAT much water today? I think not.
Chris insisted that I keep checking my email to see if the blood tests were in from the lab yet. I even called at 8:45 but the answer was the same as a few hours prior. Still pending.
I was sure I wouldn't be able to sleep but I drifted off and slept soundly, waking up to pee twice. My usual trip to the bathroom occurs once a night. It starts already.
For good measure, I took another HPT when I woke up. Still positive. I made myself a berry, OJ, spinach and kale smoothie and went back into bed to watch an episode of "Orange is the New Black" on my ipad. The smoothie was good but I had a very slight saliva build up in my mouth minutes after finishing it. The kind of build up you get before you throw up. It went away. I still felt hungry. I made myself a piece of peanut butter toast and got ready for the gym.
I thought I would check on those lab results one more time. 20 hours seems like enough time to process the blood, in my not so expert opinion. I called. The advice nurse told me that she could just give me a number and asked if I was given a normal range. I should have said "I'll just google it" but I said no, that my doctor would be able to explain.
She said my HCG result was 854 mIU/ml. From my many years on message boards about getting pregnant, I knew that this was a good thing. We got off the phone and I googled. I saw one graphic that stated that a "normal" range for Week 4 was between 5-426 mIU/ml. Another article said that anything above 25 mIU/ml is considered pregnant.
I sent Chris a text (he was at work). I said this was a good thing but again, we are still so early in this process. I considered my feelings about being "cautiously optimistic" but "realistic" and wondered if I was going about this the wrong way. Shouldn't I be thrilled? Shouldn't I allow myself to be thrilled? I only cried twice when telling Chris about both positive tests I took Friday morning. Cried is an understatement-I was unable to speak.
After an hour walk on the treadmill at the gym and a trip to the grocery store to buy some more spinach and kale, I found myself crying in my car on the way home.
For 4 years, I have played out scenarios in my mind. How I would find out. How I would feel. How we would tell family. How we would tell friends. Who would know first. What clothes I would wear. So on and so on. And now, this is really happening and those scenarios are a part of my real life.
It just feels so weird. And real. And scary. But also, it feels thrilling. And I have to allow myself to feel excited and thrilled and happy because it happened. I got pregnant.
Today, I am pregnant.