Tuesday, February 22, 2011

TTC Tuesday: Trying Something New

I don't want to say that I'm going to give up on acupuncture all together. I'm not sure if it "helped" anything as far as this past cycle went. I do know that I'm not pregnant and I need to do something to help my sanity. As each month goes by, I get a whole new series of thoughts in my head. They aren't always positive. Sometimes, they are downright scary, negative and helpless.
I decided that I what I might need is someone to talk to. Someone to help me comes to terms with how to handle the negative thoughts I have in my head. And since I have insurance that gives me access to therapists for a decent co-pay, I might as well take advantage of that.
Dealing with infertility is very mentally exhausting. There are ups and downs almost every single day. You try to teach yourself to be optimistic without being overly optimistic and without coming across as pessimistic. The line is narrow between wanting to be excited after each appointment and telling yourself that it might not work this time either. People might tell you to think positive but how do you continue to think positive after failure after failure? Money is being spent left and right. Sick time is being used and you might be getting questioned from your boss on why you are taking so much time off of work. Family and friends who don't know what you are going through pepper you with questions about when you are having kids.
It is a lot to take in at once. I'm excited to take this step to sort out these thoughts in my head and hopefully come to some peaceful decision about how I will handle each month that passes by.

3 comments:

Angie said...

hugs! i really hope talking to someone makes you feel (a little, at least) better.

it's something i've started thinking about recently, especially when i have cruel dreams at night that all the woman that i am close to are pregnant, and i'm just sitting there seeing their bellies grow..just sucks! :/

runningonwords said...

I started seeing a therapist to talk about infertility a few months ago. I think it makes a big difference in my ability to keep a hint of positivity in things. She also tells me it's ok to be upset and angry, which sometimes you need to hear. Good luck, I hope therapy helps you as much as it has helped me!

Mrs. T said...

I'm sure it will help to have a 'third party' listen to your thoughts. I hope it helps you!