Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Prude or Rude? You Decide

I went to a festival in a small town with my sister and my two nieces last weekend. I'm pretty sure the entire population of this town was in attendance because it was very crowded. The festival essentially took place in one city block: at a park and across the street from the park. There were multiple food booths, community centered booths and fun things for kids to do. When we arrived it was lunch time and I had my mind made up that I wanted a tri-tip sandwich but we needed to find some food for the girls so we stumbled across a little deli where my sister could get grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids and a deli sandwich for herself. Because of the small town + huge crowds, there were not many places to sit and eat. Luckily, there was a picnic bench sitting outside of the deli so we made ourselves comfortable while my sister waited for the food. There were two young men sitting at the table when we got there. They were in the mid to late 20's. They were also eating lunch. I couldn't help but hear their conversation and I was a bit shocked (and annoyed, to be honest) at the words they chose to use. Lots of F-words. Lots of Sh-words. Lots of other curse words. They weren't saying these words under their breath or quietly. I was uncomfortable but we didn't really have an option to move to another table. There were no other places to eat. I was a little intimidated by them so I failed to make eye contact in order to express my disgust at their language. I just tried to keep my nieces occupied on something else and their ears diverted from the conversation going on. Maybe I'm a prude but I just don't understand the complete lack of consideration for other people. There were CHILDREN sitting within an ear shot of these guys. Isn't it just good social manners to recognize that perhaps spewing out the F-word isn't good manners in front of kids....or anyone?? You couldn't have a conversation about cars without using offensive words? When I hear middle and high school students rattling off horrid words, I roll my eyes. They are immature and probably don't realize how stupid they actually sound. But guys in their mid-20's? They really don't know that speaking that way, out in the open in public, is just rude and offensive? Especially when two small kids are sitting within an arms length from you? If they would have been younger, say in their teens, I might have said something to them. Maybe. Am I a complete prude? Do you find it shocking when people use foul language in public? Do you have examples of this happening?

9 comments:

Mye said...

I have to be honest, I curse like a sailor, all the time...

Cathleya said...

Ditto Mye. I curse with gusto wherever I go.

We don't live in a child-centric world and when there are children around it is almost impossible to edit myself unless I concentrate incredibly, incredibly hard. And to be even more honest, I don't really care.

Funny enough, my husband NEVER curses unless he's genuinely upset about something (it's usually at the TV about sports. He's never cursed in conversation at/with me). And the S word or the F word is probably in every other sentence that comes out of my house.

I'm not really embarrassed about it but I also recognize that it's NOT a good habit. It's not as if I do it to be edgy or rub it in anyone's face that I cuss. I cuss so much that it doesn't really even add or detract to what I'm saying typically. It is a BAD habit that I haven't had any good reason to correct. I know once children come along, I will have to do something about it.

Great discussion!

Cathleya said...

edit "comes out of my MOUTH, not house."

Michelle said...

My husband also had quite a dirty mouth. That has rubbed off on me and sometimes he will say "don't say those words, you don't sound like a lady." haha. I know that if he were sitting at that picnic table talking to a friend, he would edit his language. He isn't a public curser.

Because I work with teenagers, I really have to watch what I say, even in regards to certain topics. So when I'm out and about in public, I'm more aware of people using that language because I just don't hear it in my everyday life other than the few waking hours I have at home with my husband.

runningonwords said...

I struggle with my language. My father the linguist always said there is no such thing as a bad word, so I grew up in a house where we all cursed like sailors. I do, however, try to keep it in check around children, but sometimes I screw up. Those guys sound like idiots, though.

Kelly Jean said...

I curse like a sailor almost 24/7. HOWEVER - I only curse around my stepson if I am REALLY upset and not thinking clearly. And I try very hard not to curse around other people's children. It's just inconsiderate, IMO.

Kelly Jean said...

P.S. Just had to add, even though to me it's just a given - I've never sworn to/at/with my stepson (he's 4). Usually it'll be if Doug and I are fighting and I'll let an F bomb slip out. I hear my upstairs neighbors SCREAM at their kids - F bomb this, and F bomb that - and it's just awful. No kid should have to deal with that. Oh - and they're 5 and 3 years old. :(

a_guardado said...

i cuss. not a whole lot..but i do. if i'm in public i usually don't unless i'm upset about something. if i was in public and there were children around i never cuss. sometimes when my 5 year old niece is around, the hubby lets an F word slip out and i give him "the look" and he knows.

so i don't think your prude at all. and it was very rude of those idiots to be running their mouths like that with children around. :/

Mama Parker said...

I think it is incredibly rude, inconsiderate and immature when I am with my kids and I hear this language. Especially when it is done almost on purpose and loud to be cool. I made the mistake of taking my kids to the park after school got out recently and it wasn't just the loud F words and SH words...it was insults that I'd never heard before like "c*nt ball*. I don't want to hear your cell phone conversations, I don't want to hear any of your foul language.

I don't cuss a lot and since becoming a parent I think about every single word that comes out of my mouth b/c I am setting an example for my children. I am their first teacher and everything they hear me say should be of value. I have had to find alternatives for even words like "suck" and "stupid" because I think it sounds bad coming out of a 3 and 4 yr. old's mouth.

Really? "We don't live in a child-centric world and when there are children around it is almost impossible to edit myself unless I concentrate incredibly, incredibly hard. And to be even more honest, I don't really care." WOW!

I'm going to stop now! :) I don't think you are a prude AT ALL!