Remember my lunch time surgery over a year ago? If not, take a minute and go read it. I'll wait......
Funny, right? It gets better. Back in January of this year, I got an appointment card from my health care provider. I didn't make an appointment in the dermatology department and I couldn't make the appointment that they scheduled for me so I called to cancel. I asked if this was a required appointment and they said yes, after someone has a mole removed they like to do a check up a year later. I was told the appointment would be rescheduled and I would be notified with another card.
This appointment was last Wednesday. Luckily, the medical office is 2 minutes from my work so I only had to take a short time off of work. I went back to the exam room and things got interesting:
Nurse: So you are here for a full body exam today?
Me: Umm sure. Honestly, I'm here because I am FORCED to be here. You people required me to be here.
Nurse: Okay, go ahead and remove all your clothes, bra and underwear included and put on the gown. The doctor will be in shortly.
And why am I stripping naked? I don't even strip naked to get my husband's sperm inseminated inside of me during an IUI (I can't get through a post without mentioning IF. Sorry) I reluctantly removed every fiber of cotton and synthetics on my body and sat on the table, furiously chewing my gum waiting for the doctor to arrive. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. When you are sitting on a table naked, one minute takes 5 minutes and I was waiting 15 total so do the math.
Finally the doctor came in. He shook my hand.
Doctor: So you would like a full body exam today?
Me: :speechless:........Yeah, sure. NO I DO NOT WANT A FULL BODY EXAM. YOU MADE ME COME IN HERE TODAY!!!! I WANT NOTHING.
The doctor asked a variety of questions about noticing any new moles on my body. He did not ask about the mole I had removed on my arm. The entire purpose of this visit or so I thought. And then the exam started. Ohhhhhh the exam. When they say full body, they mean FULL BODY. I won't get into details but seriously people.
FULL BODY. Okay? Get it? I'll move on.
After I was given that wonderfully thorough exam, the doctor was kind enough to ask how the spot on my arm was doing. Great, thanks. I could have showed that to you 20 minutes ago and been on my merry way. He saw no cause for concern, everything (literally) looked fine and I'm hoping that next January, I do not receive another appointment card. If I do, I will kindly call and refuse the appointment. Yes, REFUSE.
I'm honestly tempted to write a strongly worded email or letter to the department head. I understand that my visit was "required" but it would have been nice to be warned about the exam that was going to take place. Andplusalso, it would have been even more awesome not to have been ASKED if I wanted the exam in the first place. Don't make me take an hour of sick time, pay a $15 copay and then ask if I even want anything done to me. So what do you think reader? Does this warrant a complaint?