In the past 14 hours, I've decided that I need to get out of this holding pattern I'm in. Life shouldn't just stand still when trying to have a baby. I'm in this weird place where I feel guilty for spending any money because every dime should be saved or be spent on our fertility treatments.
After my HSG procedure (tubes clear!), I went home crying from the horrible cramping and took a nap. I woke up and thought "we need to take a vacation." Not just a day trip and not within California. We need to take an actual adventurous vacation. My mind was racing due to everything we've been through the past year and I couldn't help but think a really weird and totally TMI thought....
How many medical professionals have seen my vagina this year? From January-May for a normal woman, it would probably be zero or one if she had her annual lady visit. For me, that number is 10. 10 medical professionals have had a clear view of my parts. And the number of views goes up considering I've had 4 IUI's done since January. I'm ready for the viewing of my vagina to take a break.
When my husband got home, I threw out the idea of going to Charleston, South Carolina (say it with an accent). He furrowed his brow, I showed him pictures online and he said "I thought you were going to say Maui. How about we go to D.C. and New York?" I told him we should both think about it and talk it through tomorrow. I thought about it all night, barely able to sleep and while I was running on the treadmill at 4:45 this morning. Once a seed is planted in my head, I can't ignore it. I did some quick research this morning and I've already built a complete flight itinerary and plan for our trip.
Red eye flight to DC. 3 days in DC. Fly from DC to NYC in the morning to avoid losing time by driving or taking the train. Time is scarce people! 3 days in NYC. I realize we are spending 3 days each in cities with weeks worth of destinations to visit but its the best we can do.
My husband has never been to either of these places and I went when I was 12 with my family. The thought of exploring DC and NYC with my husband has me giddy! And the thought of moving forward with my life, empty uterus and all, has me at peace with where I am now in my life.
I will NOT allow infertility to hold me back from living. Not only does my vagina need a break from being viewed, I need a break from the emotions. And now I have something to look forward to this summer rather than another round of shots, pills and stirups.
I would LOVE to hear suggestions on hotels, touristy restaurants, must see destinations in DC and NYC. If you have any hotel hookups, this would be the time to speak up. Post them in comments or email them to michelle at seemichelleblog dot com. Thanks friends!!!