Thursday, July 21, 2011

Stuff that doesn't belong in cookies

When my sister came over the other night, she gave us a small bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a few applesauce muffins. Immediately, my Spidey Sense tingled and I was suspicious. My sister has a tendency to put healthy foods in typically unhealthy treats. In my world, that is some sort of crime punishable by at least a few months of being ignored. Dessert isn’t fruit and there should not be vegetables in places where vegetables don’t belong. In my house, vegetables belong in other people's houses 'cause I just don't eat 'em.

After we ate dinner, I cleared the dishes, saw the bag of treats and was pretty excited despite my reservations. Chocolate chip cookies are the bees knees and I was happy to eat one or two. When I pulled the “cookie” out of the bag, I noticed something wasn’t right. They were far too soft and fluffy to be a normal chocolate chip cookies but those damn chocolate chips were calling my name so I ate it. It tasted normal but I kept harassing my sister about the ingredients.

“You don’t just make normal chocolate chip cookies. It’s just not what you do.” I said.

She just shrugged her shoulders and wouldn’t say anything. I didn’t care too much because they tasted fine. My husband then grabbed one and inspected it very closely.

“What is that? What is this white thing in there?” He demanded to know.

“It’s a walnut.” My sister replied, lying through her teeth because I tasted NO walnuts.

My husband started in on a lecture about the TWO items a chocolate chip cookie should contain.

Ingredients for a Chocolate Chip Cookie, according to my husband.
1. Chocolate chips
2. Cookie Dough

This left me and my sister howling with laughter. Cookie dough, huh?

Despite my sister’s insistence that the cookies only contained normal ingredients and our knowledge that she was withholding vital information, he ate part of the cookie. Only after he said he was done with it and that it “didn’t look like a normal cookie” did my sister reveal the secret ingredient.

Garbanzo beans. As revenge, I plan to make brownies and cookies with eggs, salt, sugar and extra chocolate and whatever other unhealthy ingredients I can find and tell her that I put tons of healthy, organic, vegan stuff in there so she’ll eat tons of them. Insert evil laugh HERE.


Cathleya said...

WORD UP! GROSS! I am of the "if you're going to eat a cookie eat a cookie" mind too. :) I think oatmeal is the only mildly acceptable form of sneaking stuff that shouldn't be in there shenanigans---and even that's pretty borderline. :) Funny story!

Jen said...

When I was on weight watchers I made Black Bean brownies. The first one tasted ok, but after trying a second I realized they OBVIOUSLY weren't the same as normal brownies. The Hubs HATED them! I haven't made them again since!

nicolette said...

I've had deserts with veggies baked into them and nothing gets by me. However, I did add baby squash to my spaghetti and no one seemed to notice... I think you can get away with little things like that.

The Borchert Family said...

You think I don't read your blog and read about you trying to scheme against me? I am not going to eat your evil brownies and I am going to stick to my healthy cookies. BTW, they aren't that healthy. They still have sugar, flour and oh, chocolate chips in them! You said they were fine til I told you what they had in them. Don't hate! Appreciate!

Michelle said...

CAUGHT RED HANDED! Love you, sister!!!