Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Michelle on.....Massages

I love massages. Whenever someone tells me that they have never had a professional massage, I excitedly tell them they must go get one ASAP.

But not all massages are created equal. I still remember my first massage. It was in Palm Springs. I was 20 or 21 and my mom was there on vacation. I lived in Long Beach for college and she invited me out for the weekend. I was nervous about the massage and that only escalated when I realized my massuese was a male. I tried to relax but found it difficult to really enjoy it. My mom assured me that next time, I should make sure I get a female. And that is something I have always tried to stick with.

Sadly, I've slipped a time or two. A couple days prior to my friend Lisa's wedding, we went to get massages. She said hers was amazing. Her other friend was sure that her massuese checked out her boobs while changing positions. And my guy.....I think he fell asleep at one point. Awesome.

I also remember the best massage I've ever had. The stars aligned, people. I fell into such a deep relaxation that I not only fell asleep, I forgot where I was. That was something special.

For my birthday, my mom asked what I wanted. I couldn't think of any material things that fit criteria.

"Think of something that you really want but wouldn't buy yourself." I rarely buy myself anything (without feeling guilty after) so this was challenging. I talked to my friend Lindsay about it and she suggested massages! Perfect.

My mom got me a years worth of massages at her favorite place. I've already mapped out exactly when to use each massage for the next year starting with my first one which took place yesterday. With a male massuese. Why oh why don't I learn my lesson.

It wasn't that he was bad. Not at all. He did a fine job. But I just can't seem to relax. The distraction of the male massuese set off a flurry of random thoughts in my head the entire time:

Massages are weird. You walk into a room, undress and lay on a table with two blankets, usually face down. You wait for a strange to enter the room and without saying a word to each other for 60 minutes, that stranger rubs all over you with oil/lotion. And then you pay for it. And most of the time, you go back and do it all over again. I mean...really?

The entire time, I kept thinking how weird massages are and those thoughts did NOT allow me to relax and enjoy it at all. I thought I would get over it when the scalp massage took place because that is my favorite part. I can really knock out weird thoughts and just live in the moment during the scalp massage but nope. Didn't happen. Probably because the guy was cupping my face and my ears for 5 minutes. Which I probably would have enjoyed if I wasn't so hung up on the fact that this was a dude doing this.

The moral of the story is to listen to your instincts. I'll only get naked and lay face down on a massage table for females from now on.

Wait.....that didn't sound right.

*I'm considering a series of "Michelle on...." posts. Any suggestions?

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