Thursday, September 27, 2012

Changing when nothing changes

I had a job interview last Wednesday. I was nervous. Sick to my stomach nervous. That feeling started on Sunday and stayed with me until a few hours post-interview. Amazing how just talking about yourself can bring up such feelings of doubt!

I've been in my current job for nearly 7 years. It is hard to believe it has been that long and in that time, I have grown into a skilled person who on most days leaves work with a smile on my face. I work with youth and I've realized over the years that working with young people is where I feel most comfortable. I excel at building relationships with young people and love the interaction I get on a daily basis.

The job I applied for was similar to the one I have now but in a different area, closer to home. It had other benefits as well but alas, it wasn't meant to be. I figured that I didn't get the job when I heard nothing from them on Friday and Tuesday, I received the official "not selected for hire" email.

But a funny thing happened between Wednesday and Monday. I had a great meeting on Thursday with a new adult advisor to our program. I saw students that I worked with last year that ran to me and gave me a big hug. On Friday, I spent some time with a favorite student and felt re-energized. And while I waited for my phone to ring for a second interview, I felt conflicted. I wasn't sure I was ready to close the door and open a new one if it meant saying goodbye to these amazing students I am so lucky to work with.

For now, nothing changes. But I am okay with that. I put myself out there, gained some confidence and practice interviewing. The good that came out of this experience is feeling a renewed dedication to my current job and getting a cute new dress, blazer and black heels.


No comments: