Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Ruffling Feathers

I like to think of myself as an opinionated person. There have been occasions on this blog where I have let my fingers fly across the keyboard without a lot of fear of consequence. This is my space and if I feel bold enough to communicate my thoughts, I should do it. All backlash, if any, will be dealt with but I always hope that my thoughts and opinions are met with an open-mind and respect.

I don't want to dive too deeply into the topic of same-sex marriage because I honestly find it challenging to express my thoughts on the topic. To me, allowing a human being to marry another human being is not worth all the hoopla it has been receiving. It should just be. But I know that not everyone feels that way.

Years ago, I was just "eh" on the topic. Whatever. I didn't care. It didn't effect me so I paid no attention. I didn't see what the big deal was about fighting against it so vividly. I often thought, "Why is this a thing? Shouldn't we be better than this by now?"

I watched my cousin marry her girlfriend just a month after I got married in 2008, before Prop 8 passed and same sex marriage was shut down. They have been together for over a decade. They love each other. Their families love each other. Heather and Dusty are no different than any man and woman out there who fell in love and wanted to commit to spending their lives together, as one. Legally. 4 months later, on Election Day, I felt disappointed and disgusted as I saw people on social media celebrate the passing of 8.

And then I watched "The Loving Story" in September of last year. I wish everyone would watch this documentary. I felt a renewed sense of purpose in terms of what is right and wrong. I no longer felt "eh" about same sex marriage. I couldn't help but replace "interracial couples" with "same sex couples." The similarities were astounding.

I do not judge my friends (close, close friends) who feel that homosexuality is a sin and that same sex marriage is wrong. I can't change their minds. (And I hope they don't judge me for my beliefs.) I can't tell them that gay people are still people with feelings and love in their hearts and the desire to settle down and commit (legally) to another person. Why did I get married? Why does any straight person get married? Why should any PERSON who wants to get married be denied that? The reason isn't different just because they want to marry someone who is the same sex as they are.

Over the past 5 years, this topic has grown more and more intense and I have found that my feelings about it have grown more and more intense. As I scrolled through Facebook yesterday, I couldn't help but smile when I saw that red and pink equality sign popping up over and over and over.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to be told "No, you can't get married. You aren't allowed." Think about that! How would that impact your life? Would you accept that? Would that be okay? My marriage is precious to me. The commitment we have to each other and our future is precious and I take it very seriously. If someone came to my door today, holding my marriage license and said "this is void. You are no longer married and will never allowed to be married and that is just the way it is" you can bet I wouldn't just close the door and shrug my shoulders. My relationship with my husband wouldn't change. But not having that RIGHT, being DENIED that right would not sit well with me.

At this point I'm blathering on and on. Like I said above, this whole thing is so bizarre that I can't find eloquent words to piece together to explain it. And if I ruffled your feathers, good. Can I challenge you to watch The Loving Story. Read about Loving v. Virginia. Contemplate a world where people were denied the ability to get married based on the color of their skin. Ponder how crazy that sounds today. Think about how women were denied the right to vote because we were women. Think about slavery and segregation. Think about these outdated, horrifying discriminatory practices of the past. Think about the reasoning people gave to justify these practices.

Just think outside the box. Think hard. Don't change your mind overnight. Do what you need to do to open your mind to a world where all those things I listed above are still in practice. Would that be okay with you?

1 comment:

Jen said...

Like like like! :-)