"What should I wear to my baby shower? No, not that, it will make me look huge!"
"What should I wear in maternity pictures? Do I want to even do maternity pictures? I need to practice smiling so my face isn't all scrunched up."
I wasn't thinking about labor and delivery or daycare or anything remotely important. I was thinking about outfits. That either makes me a bad mother or completely oblivious to how my life will change in the next 8 weeks.
EIGHT WEEKS. I keep thinking about being 8 weeks pregnant. We had just told our families. Only a small set of friends knew our news. Anxiety was high!
An excerpt from an unpublished post I wrote at 8 weeks pregnant (9/5/13):
I had a prenatal class at Kaiser yesterday. I couldn't help but rewind back to May 21 when I went to the IVF seminar in Sacramento. That was just 3.5 months ago. At the time, I never thought I would be in an IVF seminar and just 3 months later, sitting in a prenatal class, hearing the nurse midwife discuss genetic testing and setting up appointments for me was bizarre. Is this real life? Is this happening to me? Didn't I give up?
Now, I am 32 weeks pregnant. I am in the home stretch. Is that true? Or is 36 weeks the home stretch? I feel like I'm in the home stretch. Some updates:
- Baby D is moving around all the stinkin' time. Day and night. Sometimes, I do feel like I'm smashing her if I sit the wrong way. My belly gets pushed up against my desk and she kicks back. Right now, as I type this, some limb is up where it doesn't belong. Is this the rib kick I've heard about? She is running out of space, moving all around the surface she has called home for 7 months. It brings tears to my eyes to think what she started out as and what she has become!
- We attended a newborn care class at the hospital last weekend. My husband found it entertaining to take pictures of the dolls at our station and make inappropriate jokes about them. The information was basic but still very helpful. I attend a breastfeeding class next weekend and our late pregnancy/hospital tour is at the end of March.
- My first baby shower is this weekend! I'm most excited to see family members and spend time together and as much as my Leo persona enjoys being the center of attention, I always feel a bit uncomfortable at these things. I never want people to fuss over me or go out of their way to do things for me so I've asked that the shower be low key.
- We are no closer to picking a name for this little one. I took the wooden alphabet blocks in the nursery and spelled out both names and left it on the dresser. Hopefully, seeing the names will help me come to some conclusion about which I like better. Kitty was on the dresser, looking out the window when I heard a commotion. She took it upon herself to knock down all but one block from one of the name choices. The other was fully in tact. I think Kitty made her decision!