Thursday, February 27, 2014

"The Next One..."

I'm getting the impression that people think I should have more than one child. Should have more than one. Will have more than one. Wouldn't even consider only having one.

"Well, for the next one you can...."

"When you have your next one......"

Excuse me? Did I miss something? I understand that China has a one-child only policy and believe me, I'm not considering following their rules but here in America, there isn't a two-child policy so....

Get off my back about it. 

Did you miss the part where it took us FOUR YEARS to successfully conceive? The part where I spent the better part of those FOUR YEARS in emotional distress about being infertile. The part where we spent a lot of money trying to get pregnant only to fail time and time (and time and time and time) again. Yes, I am pregnant. I still don't know why it happened when it did and not in 2009 on the first try. I try not to question this miracle we have been gifted.

The funny thing is that there is no "perfect" number of children. Some people think one child is too many. Others scoff at someone who has 4 or more kids as being irresponsible to the environment. I'm not sure why people seem to think it is appropriate to assume that we'll have more than one child as if having one child is so horrible. How dare you!? An only child? Never!

Shut up.

I don't need to defend my current feelings on this nor am I saying this decision has been set in stone. What I do know is that we have plenty of reasons to not make plans to continue having children past the one growing in my uterus. Responsible reason.

*I ain't young. I'm not old but I'm not young. I'm not interested in being 40 and pregnant. More power to those that are. It isn't for me.
*Kids are expensive. Day care is expensive. Bringing another human into the world before I'm 40 means two kids in day care and unless YOU are willing to finance that, it isn't going to happen.
*For 4 years, we couldn't get pregnant. It was the most painful time in my life. I do not wish to go through it again.

This child is such a huge blessing to us. A year ago, I was staring down a life without children at all. Now I get to have one. And one might just be perfect. Time will tell.

But please, stop the talk of "the next one." It is disrespectful to "this one."

1 comment:

Betty said...

not sure I've ever commented, but this takes the cake (so to speak) - I can not imagine that people are saying that to you - unreal - Have a wonderful rest of this pregnancy - best wishes.