Big week, people!!! I am 35 weeks pregnant and 35 days from my due date.
COMMENCE FREAK OUT. I also have a car seat in the back seat of my vehicle. And, nearly everyday this week, Julia has received presents from friends and coworkers. It will be a sad day when I don't walk to my desk and see a gift sitting there. Guess I'll just have to get pregnant again right away. LOLzzzzz. Totes kidding.
As I near the end of this out of this world experience, I find myself focusing on two things:
1. How and when and where my labor will start.
2. How and when and where I will learn how the hell to care for a newborn.
Notice something missing? The actual labor and delivery. It isn't even on my mind. Is it smart to block it out? I know it has to happen. I know it is going to be challenging, painful and trying. I know I will cry and be tired and it will all end with this intense amount of love and joy but I can not get myself to plan for it. I can't even get myself to the point where I think about it. LAH LAH LAH CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!
In thinking back to the past, I pulled up some blog posts that I never published from August and September when I was still in secret mode. I wrote this one on August 2nd, the day I took the pregnancy tests that would change my life.......
Today (August 2, 2013), I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.
In fact, I took 2. They were both positive. I have never seen a positive
pregnancy test. I've taken them even when I knew they wouldn't be
When I took the first one and saw those two
lines, I cried. Hard. I called my husband in disbelief. We decided that I
should take another test, a digital test, to make sure this was real.
chugged a lot of water and waited. And waited. I casually strolled to
the bathroom (yes, this was all at work) and took the test. I moved away
from the stick. I didn't want to be near it. I leaned over it as if my
horrible eyes could make out the answer. I had to get close.
got close. And I saw a "yes+." I smiled. I grabbed the test, washed my
hands and ran downstairs to call my husband. It was real. It was true.
I am pregnant.
That day in August now seems like a lifetime ago. The progression that has occurred in our lives since that day is surreal. Everything has transformed into something new. And in a few weeks, the full transformation will be complete and life as we know it will never be the same.