Thursday, March 13, 2014

35 weeks-35 days

Big week, people!!! I am 35 weeks pregnant and 35 days from my due date.

COMMENCE FREAK OUT. I also have a car seat in the back seat of my vehicle. And, nearly everyday this week, Julia has received presents from friends and coworkers. It will be a sad day when I don't walk to my desk and see a gift sitting there. Guess I'll just have to get pregnant again right away. LOLzzzzz. Totes kidding.

As I near the end of this out of this world experience, I find myself focusing on two things:

1. How and when and where my labor will start.
2. How and when and where I will learn how the hell to care for a newborn.

Notice something missing? The actual labor and delivery. It isn't even on my mind. Is it smart to block it out? I know it has to happen. I know it is going to be challenging, painful and trying. I know I will cry and be tired and it will all end with this intense amount of love and joy but I can not get myself to plan for it.  I can't even get myself to the point where I think about it. LAH LAH LAH CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!

In thinking back to the past, I pulled up some blog posts that I never published from August and September when I was still in secret mode. I wrote this one on August 2nd, the day I took the pregnancy tests that would change my life.......

Today (August 2, 2013), I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. In fact, I took 2. They were both positive. I have never seen a positive pregnancy test. I've taken them even when I knew they wouldn't be positive.

When I took the first one and saw those two lines, I cried. Hard. I called my husband in disbelief. We decided that I should take another test, a digital test, to make sure this was real.

I chugged a lot of water and waited. And waited. I casually strolled to the bathroom (yes, this was all at work) and took the test. I moved away from the stick. I didn't want to be near it. I leaned over it as if my horrible eyes could make out the answer. I had to get close.

I got close. And I saw a "yes+." I smiled. I grabbed the test, washed my hands and ran downstairs to call my husband. It was real. It was true.

I am pregnant.

That day in August now seems like a lifetime ago. The progression that has occurred in our lives since that day is surreal. Everything has transformed into something new. And in a few weeks, the full transformation will be complete and life as we know it will never be the same.

Thank goodness.


AngieM. said...

AND now i'm crying. i am so so so...happy for you and C...even more happy than i am for 2 of my cousins that are also i'm messed up.

Christine said...

You're right about the labor & delivery has to happen, and there's no way to plan for it. Even people who say "have a birth plan" also say "nothing goes according to plan". I never made one and everything went the way it was meant to be, I believe. You are so, so blessed and you are going to love this little peanut more than you can even imagine right now.