Tuesday, February 24, 2015

One

6 years ago, when we first started trying to have a baby, I wanted 2 kids. I grew up with a sister and couldn't imagine not having two children. In fact, I believe I remember telling a friend that I would rather have zero kids than one.

How times change.

I don't owe anyone an explanation or a reason on what our family will look like. But I know as soon as our child turns one in April, the questions about Baby #2 will start.

We are pretty sure there won't be a Baby #2. And we are okay with that. You should be too. Because how many children I have isn't your concern. Unless you are offering to help pay for daycare and breastfeed and get up at night to deal with a crying baby, you don't get an opinion.

I won't lie-I do have baby fever. My baby is nearly 23 pounds and 30" tall. She wears 18 month clothes and is starting to take steps. She feels less like a tiny newborn each day and sigh.....it is sad.

But I'll be 36 this year. It took 4 years and some sort of miracle to get pregnant. If we were to have kids 3 years apart, I would be bordering on 37, in the "advanced maternal age" category and considered high risk for complications. And that is only if I got pregnant the first time trying. Tack on another 4 years and I'm 40+.

Was this my plan 6 years ago? No. As our years of trying dragged on, was I sad about the chances of having 2 kids slowly diminishing? Yes. Very. But I was facing a life with no baby at all. And THAT was sad. Terribly sad.

Our Julia is the light of our lives. She is our everything. She is perfect.

Babies are hard. They are expensive. They take over your life.

I'm happy with one. Be happy with me. Be happy for me.

1 comment:

ColorAndFlair said...

A good friend of mine just had her first baby - 10 weeks early. A group of us got together to celebrate baby a few weeks after his birth and our friend said she was done with having babies. One was enough. Water breaking 12 weeks early, hospital bedrest for 2 weeks, and a preemie with potentially special needs. The whole thing has been too traumatic for her. Immediately the comments came - "you'll change your mind", "you can't have an only child", "you'll forget the hard part soon enough", etc. And this was within 3 weeks of having her baby! So thank you for your blog post. I now know it's okay to ask my friends if they want another, but not to judge their answer one way or the other.

I really enjoy your blog. You're a great writer with very interesting things to say!